my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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