i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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