WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
