Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
