weddingsv make me drug and hornr
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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