She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
