Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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