If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
why do cheetos always look like penises
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Let's paint friendship bongs
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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