I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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