What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
