Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
