im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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