I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
