highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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