last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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