i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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