Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
