i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
