just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
