Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
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I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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