I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I would ride that face into the sunset
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
