whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
