I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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