Need sex. Gaining weight.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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