i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
