did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
