Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize