I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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