girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We left an ass print on the piano.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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