it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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