I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I need a beard to bite.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
