I think i peed on brittanys purse
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
