i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
