Say something about gay babies.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
