Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
