3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
