Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There r osticjed everywhere
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
