Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize