He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
