Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
