So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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