so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
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please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
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Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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