toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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