He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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