Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
