I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
