you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
