may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
