youre lurking in front of me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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