From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
