I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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