Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
