You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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