Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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