I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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